Twas the Night Before Fifty

Twas the night before 50

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

Not even my spouse

The panty hose were hung

In the bathroom with care

In hopes that my legs

Could soon go bare

My hormones were quietly biding their time

While visions of slumber ran through my mind

The old man, he was snoring in his old sleeping cap

(Yes, he managed to sleep despite all my crap!)

Down in the kitchen

There arose such a clatter

I rushed from my bed

to see what was the matter

Away to the fridge

I flew like a flash

Tore open the door

(It fell with a crash)

I sighed with relief as I stuck in my head

Then needing my sleep I went back to bed.

I know this is short but please give me a break!

I'm turning 50 tomorrow, my head is starting to ache!