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Wednesday, August 09, 2006


I seem to have been avoiding posting this week. I have been contemplating life and friendships. I have known that I will write about it in some fashion or another. So, I have been avoiding it. The death of a friend on Monday morning is what brought on this mood. This introspection.

Ian was a close friend of my DH and consequently a friend of mine. He had cancer. In the time that he was sick I do not think that I saw him at all. I know that Jim did go to see him a few months ago. But, since I was not as close to him as Jim I didn't. Now I wonder should I have gone? Should I have let him know that he was cared for and would be missed? I think that I should have.

I think that we should all remember to be in touch with those we care about. We should all remember to let our friends know that they are important in our lives. I know, life happens. We get busy raising our families and making ends meet. But we need to make time. We need to reach out especially when a friend is need even if it is just to say thanks or to be a hand holder.

This sad event comes after a happy reunion with a friend on the previous Friday. We were both remarking on the fact that we had let 10 years slide on past before hooking up again. Again life was happening. She was becoming a lawyer and I was raising my kids. Different phases in our lives. I have always been the type of person to let others walk easily out of my life. As I have grown older I am finding that I let go less easily. Having a friend die is hard. Let it be a reminder to cherish and appreciate the people and the times in our lives.

I wish I could write about it more eloquently. I appreciate all of you and thanks for listening.

Goodbye Ian. You will be missed by many.


twig said...

I think your post was as eloquent as it needed to be. Sometimes it's hard to put things into words, but I think you did a good job.

Not too long ago an acquaintance of mine died and I faced a lot of the same thoughts. I think that introspection comes as we get older and our views of life and death become clearer in our minds.

Karen said...

I think you wrote it quite eloquently. Thank you so much for the wake-up call.

Liz K. said...

Oh, Martina, I am so sorry about your friend. Hang in there and take a break from blogging if that helps. Or post here. We're listening.

Cathy said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Martina.

The 'shoulds' in life can drive you crazy. I'm sure your friend knew he was cared for to the end.

I am like you that I have lost contact with many friends along the way and am trying to correct that mistake. It is a good idea to be tenacious with friendships!

Charity said...

I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Your post is a good reminder for all of us to make the most of what we have.

Dorothy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We're here for you if you need to express things.

I too, tend to drift through life. Friends have come and gone and although I think about them now and then, I never seem to do anything with the thoughts.

I think today, it's time to write a few letters. Thanks, Martina.

Liz K. said...

M, what has now touched me most was how you were so effortlessly encouraging to me over on my little blog while you are obviously in pain yourself. Thanks for helping me out today. (PS, I wish I had your e-mail so I could respond privately, rather than comment on your blog AGAIN!)

sandra said...

Just keep on talking, Martina! That is the best way to get smth off of your chest! You know, my uncle is fighting with cancer! My Mom has some problem with breasts, my father is close to prostate gland cancer,... Seams like there is at least one pearson in every family with that beast!