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Saturday, November 04, 2006

A Deep Breath

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. All the support has made coping through this time so much easier. It is wonderful to be a part of such a supportive community.

How have I been doing? Coping. I guess that is what you'd call it. I find myself often going over the group attack. Then I try to put it away and deal with putting myself back together. Not just putting myself back together but back together in a way where I handle stress better in general. In a way that will give me the skills to deal with such negativity and keep myself intact. I forsee a long drawn out process. As much as I fear putting myself through the process I fear going over the edge more.

I have been knitting. The meditation, healing shawl and the mystery knit. No pictures. They are the same but bigger. The routine of the knitting is allowing time for contemplation.

I have been writing. I have been doing research about creativity. I feel a book, a seminar or something coming out of this research at some point in the next couple of years. I am not sure exactly what but I seem compelled to follow through. I just have to make sure that the intellectual research is not used to shut down my emotional development. A hard task for me.

I have decided to reread the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron . I read through it several years ago without really doing the exercises. Now I think I am ready to use the book the way it is meant to be used. I'm sure that you will be hearing about it!

(2 hours later)

I have just picked up a new journal to start the journaling process needed to do The Artists Way. It took me about 20 minutes to find the book before I went out but YES I did find it! It was in one of my book racks, on it's side and out of sight until I started really digging. Maybe I put it away that way so that I could only find it again when I was really ready to use it. Who knows.

Now, I know there are no pictures, so let me amuse you with a few dog pictures I found at Cute Overload.

Oh isn't Halloween a fun time?


Dorothy said...

The best thing I've ever done for myself is to take a step back from my life and look at it as honestly as I could.
Try asking if you could not deal with the stress because of the people around you or because you no longer love what you do. Maybe you need a change of careers. It's never too late to reeducate and give your life a totally different path.
I hope you find what you are looking for on your journey to self.

Alisha said...

I totally agree with the whole steping back and looking where and if change needs to be done to bring you back to a happy balance.

I love the dog pictures, we got a few funny ones via email that were similar.

Monika said...

I've read and did the excercises in the Artist's Way book about 5 years ago? At the time it was fine, but it did not help me on my way. I hope it works out better for you!

barbp said...

Martina I'm making an assumption that you are Christian from some of your posts where you talk of fellowship meetings. As a rule the only bloggers I leave comments regarding faith are those who I know are Christian. In this spirit I want to share a passage from the Bible that always gives comfort in most of the difficult situations I've been in. It's 2 Samuel 22:30 "He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." My wish is this will give you comfort, hope and strength. Take Care.

Liz K. said...

I have been meaning to comment about your life changes lately. I apologize that it has taken me a few days to get it together to sit down and make a substantive comment.

First, I am sorry that you have had to endure the working situation, but I am relieved that you have been delivered out of it.

Next, I admire you for choosing to respond by nurturing yourself and your creativitiy. This is a positive choice, one that will only result in your knowing yourself better.

Thanks for being willing to share this with us.

monica said...

"two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I/I took the one less travelled by/and that has made all the difference"

You choose your own road girl! We'll be here to lend support.

Charity said...

Martina, I'm glad to hear that you are coping, and that you are giving yourself the time and space to deal with this situation so that you'll come out of it stronger than ever. You're in my thoughts. :0)